Limo to San Francisco please

What is real and what is virtual? I’m in San Francisco for the Second Life Community Convention and sometimes it’s hard to believe I flew halfway round the world. It took me nearly two days to get here from the UK as the flight I was due to take on Monday was cancelled. Why didn’t I just tp here?

Wednesday, August 12 A good friend shows me some of the sights of San Francisco. We buy picnic foods at the Ferry Building and take the ferry out to Sausalito, passing Alcatraz island on the way and getting a fairly clear view of the Golden Gate Bridge, which has always been completely shrouded in fog on previous visits. A magical day, with time to relax and to get used to the time difference.

Thursday, August 13, 9 am. Time to set off for the Westin St Francis Hotel where the convention is being held. When I arrive I follow the noise up to the mezzanine floor. There’s a gathering crowd around what looks like a registration desk, but no badges or programs to be seen. Gradually the story unfolds. The registration materials have failed to rez. Otherwise it’s business as usual, and the sessions are due to start at noon. Aside from the slight inconvenience of not knowing who’s talking at any particular time, no-one seems particularly bothered by the lack of badges and programs. In fact, it acts as an ice-breaker and gets us talking to each other. I meet Frans Charming and Rhiannon Chatnoir who are familiar faces from last year. Somehow I manage to meet up with Bri and Pookie Gufler – one of the volunteers, Glennan Glenerg who like me is from the UK, takes a picture of me on his cell phone to show Bri if he sees him. Now why didn’t I think of that. Bri is the Health Track leader and we have had several meetings in world during the process of putting the track together. Bri introduces me to Pathfinder Linden who will be on a panel on Saturday with Treasure Ballinger, Ricken Flow, and myself.

And then, I meet Gentle Heron ...

I recognize Gentle by her voice and fall under her spell. Gentle is someone I have long admired and meeting her in person is a great thrill. She has multiple sclerosis and is unable to stand unaided, and if she has to go very far she uses a wheelchair, but she has turned her disability into a gift and has used her second life to make a difference not only for herself but also for many others. Gentle came into Second Life with several others looking for a community to support people with disabilities and when they didn’t find it they decided to create it. What started as the Heron Sanctuary has evolved into Virtual Ability, Inc., which now helps people with a wide range of disabilities to enter and thrive in Second Life. Earlier this year, Virtual Ability was one of two projects to win the first ever Linden Prize. It’s not hard to understand why. VA is fundamentally changing the way people play and learn in Second Life, and it is bound not to stop there as Gentle is still full of ideas for the future.

Somehow I navigate Gentle’s wheelchair (which was damaged on her flight to San Francisco) and we find a place to sit, and find ourselves talking with Dusan Writer, another person I’ve admired from a distance and who I learn later is Doug Thomson in real life, the CEO of Remedy Communications, and Shirlee Mills, who makes and sells pianos in Second Life. Later, Gentle introduces me to Harper Beresford and we three go off for lunch together, Harper takes over the driving and does a better job of it than me. The conversation sparks so many ideas. Later I look up Harper’s blog, called ‘Harper’s Bizarre’. It’s witty and insightful, just like its writer. There is food for thought in her blog piece about ‘charities in SL’.

In the evening we go to the Linden Lab Luau in the Yerba Buena Garden opposite the Moseum of Modern Art. At the door there are, of course, freebies ... It seems slightly surreal to be surrounded by so many Second Life residents and Lindens wearing brightly colored leis and eating real food. After the party Flash Alcott shows me the memorial to Martin Luther King which is behind a magnificent 50-foot waterfall. We listen to the water falling and read the inscription ‘No, No, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until “justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”’

And then on to the ‘Blarney Stone on Tour’ where the Blarney Stone Bar in Second Life has taken over the real life Sellers Market on Market Street for the evening. We listen to Second Life musicians in real life and drink beer. It’s the sign of a good party when the beer starts flowing and this one is no exception ... one glass of beer takes flight and lands on me! And it's REAL beer! So, back to the hotel to wash and brush up ...

Holding on to your dreams

This weekend I chaired a panel discussion at the Dreams Community Fair about the value of support in Second Life for people with cancer in real life. With me were Chel Norfolk, Flash Alcott and Ishtar Roux, three cancer survivors in different stages of their treatment, who shared their personal stories and talked about what support means to them. And we were supported by several members of our cancer survivors group who were in the audience.

From left to right: Ish, Flash, Chel, and Poppy

All of our speakers agreed on how difficult it was to tell friends and family in RL when they were first diagnosed. And two of them have direct experience of being supported through their treatment by the friends they've made in SL, and by the support group that meets weekly in Hope Haven.

Chel, who is studying for her PhD, has only recently been diagnosed with cancer and is still discussing with her doctors what is the best course of action to take in her treatment. When she first heard the news she walked around like a zombie for the first few days. She ended up telling a friend in SL who suggested coming the cancer support meetings . At first she was very angry " ... wanting to cuss up a storm yelling at everything". But now, she says, "If it wasn’t for my friends in SL and the support group in Sl I don’t know if I would of had the strength I have to make the decisions I have made I thank everyone of them. I haven’t told many in my RL due to my need to keep my health very private. However those that do know are very supportive and I thank my lucky stars to have everyone of them."

Chel is determined to continue her schooling and to fulfil her love of travel. "I hold on to those dreams. Someone once gave me a keychain that said 'Those that dare to can make a dream come true' ... those are very strong words to me ... this is one of my strengths to look forward to my dreams."

Flash Alcott is now a regular participant in the weekly support meetings and has helped facilitate these sessions, but he describes himself as "... a very .. intensely .. private person" who found it very hard at first to share his cancer diagnosis with anyone. The first two people he told were the father of one of his daughter's schoolfriends, and the "young, hip" hospital chaplain with whom he now has coffee every couple of weeks. And the third?

"Several months ago I 'happened' upon the American Cancer Society Island. It was late one evening and I ran into something that charmed me -- little paper bags with illuminating candle inside (OK, SL versions of these things). You could dedicate a 'luminaria' to a loved one lost to cancer. Anyway, I was 'lighting' one for both my mom and dad and another avatar floated by. I told her I was touched by the simplicity and beauty of these things -- and we started talking. She was a great listener and pretty soon I was sharing - with an avatar I'd never met (and I'm not even sure if I even bothered to look at her profile) - incredibly private stuff about my health. I talked her ears off, I suspect ... but she listened. And she gave me suggestions about things to do, people to talk with. That person - you might have guessed - was Poppy ... All of which led me to a suggestion she made -- becoming involved with the ACS Second Life community. A community that has become one of my strongest sources of support."

(ahem ...)

Flash is now in the middle of his treatment and went on to say "... what I've learned from these people is that human contact is so so so terribly important. That we need to help each other."

Ishtar has now completed her cancer treatment and her prognosis is good. But she remembers that when she heard the diagnosis she felt very alone, and then realized that she had to be the one to tell the people she loved. She attributes getting through it in a large part to her mother, her dog, and her sense of humor ... she made us all laugh with her description of how she managed to tuck away her shunt in her bra ... and how she was chased out of the nuclear medicine corridor because "our giggling was disrupting things".

During the discussion that followed, The Sojourner made the interesting point that different health support groups seem to prefer different approaches. Some, like ours, benefit from having a regular meeting schedule. Others (and she gave the example of stroke survivors) tend not to want regular support, as that can remind them of what they can't control, but do want a crisis line where they can get immediate attention. As Gentle Heron added: "Some of us need routine. Some of us need help when we need it."

Ish is now a team captain for Relay For Life of Second Life. I'll let her have the last word: "Support comes in many ways but one I missed out on was the American Cancer Society and Relay For Life. In so many ways I wish I'd had my wits about me and contacted them. It would have done me so much good to meet others with cancer, and especially survivors. I'm so delighted to be involved now and help others battling cancer."

A Friend at the End of Your Pen

A year ago Flash Alcott became a member of the club no-one wants to be part of when he heard the words "unfortunately, we found cancer." Flash has found it useful, like many of us, to write down his thoughts as he travels this journey. He came along on Friday October 9 and gave us an introductory talk about Expressive Writing, sometimes known as Journaling, and why cancer patients, survivors, caregivers, family members, and medical staff can find it helpful. I have an edited chat log of his talk so if you would like a copy send me an IM.



Flash is at this moment preparing to give a series of workshops on Expressive Writing at a cancer center in California and has offered to set up a similar course in Second Life. IM him if you would be interested in taking part.